nbpup (nbpup) wrote,

Blade Trinity review

OK, some spoilers here so...

Man, am I glad I didn't waste 25 bucks at the movie theatre for this one.
Blade was gone from a one dimensional comic book villian (yeah, he started life as a bad guy), to a two dimensional anti-hero in the books to a two dimensional anti-hero in the first film to a walkign fight scene in the last one. He does nothing more then fight some guys in one scene then segue to another fight scene. Sure he growls a few lines, but there's no depth to them. Whistler tries to make him understand the importantance or friends aka back-up, but he never gets it... not even in the end. He acts as if Abagail is merely another stake in his vamp killing toolbox rather then a friend. Although it would seem that the writer/director decided that Blade couldn't carry the movie so he filled it with a bunch of mostly second rate characters. Therefore, he had no need to flesh out the character. What a cop out.
There were too many, "Yeah, right!" moments in this film for me. Like Blade cuddling that baby on the roof, the fact that 2 normal humans could beat the crap out of vamps all the time, that Mr. Uber Vamp was a big wuss, and more.
Apple must have paid a tonne to get all the product plament for iPod and iTunes in this film.
The seizure inducing, MTV-esque, strobe light for no reason effect really pissed me off. Seriously... does it have to be used in every fucking scene? I wanted to grab the cameradude and slap him around... "Hold still you, idiot. No more Red Bull before shooting."
The other thing... why is it that every Blade movie has the lamest ubah villians? This "Dracula" guy was like a talking tongue depressor... wooden and gag inducing.
And that vampire chick... you know the one if you've seen it. Um, honey... not all vamps act like White Wolf rejects.
However there was a bright light in this whole mess... the hottie known as Ryan Reynolds. He had the best lines and is totally fuckable.
And that UV arc weapon thingie was rather cool. Like an anti-vamp lightsabre.

My rating : ** out of ***** (Rent it if you are bored, if only to watch Reynolds)
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